The downside of being a top pick
President Barack Obama has picked the University of North Carolina Tar Heels to win the NCAA basketball tournament. Considering how well Obama has done with his other various choices since taking office, this should make the Heels very, very nervous.
For starters, the chances have just spiked up dramatically that we’ll learn UNC coach Roy Williams sort of, kind of forgot to pay his income taxes for a few years. Then we’ll find out that UNC, a la AIG, quietly paid hapless former football coach John Bunting a million-dollar retention bonus — and did so last week, long after he’d actually left. Also, don’t be surprised if, after Obama’s next mention of his plan for health-care reform, Ty Lawson’s ailing big toe falls off from fright.
Oh, and look for UNC forward Tyler Hansbrough to announce that he’ll forego the rest of the tournament and instead devote his time to organizing anti-tax tea parties.
UNC fans, time is of the essence. Demand a do-over from Obama on his NCAA bracket choices. There are other teams much more deserving of the doom that surely will come with being Obama’s pick.
Duke, for instance.
March 20th, 2009 at 3:38 am
If Carolina doesn’t win, Obama will protest:
“It’s like — it was like Special Olympics, or something.”
March 20th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Duke wins…
Salary Madness - 2009 NCAA Tournament Predictions By the Dollars
March 20th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Does anyone really care about college basketball? And Coach K can stop whining. It would serve him right if Duke didn’t even make it as far as Obama said it would.
March 20th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Ah, lad, you made me laugh over that last sip of day-off coffee. Thankee.
March 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
If Koach K stopped whining, he wouldn’t be Koach K, now would he?
An old Duke basketball hater here. Christian Laettner, Grant Hill, Cherokee Parks (loved his Hitler youth hair cut) and the insufferable Cameron Crazies had me throwing up in my bowl of ice cream many an afternoon. Damn good were those teams, however. Credit where credit’s due and all that.
Can’t see this year’s assemblage of jump-shooters going too far in the tourney, but who knows?
Duke basketball has been “down” (relatively speaking) recently so it’s hard to muster up much good old fashioned hate for ‘em anymore.
It’s kinda like rooting against the NY Yankees or Notre Dame. Who am I kidding? I still HATE the freaking Yankees and Irish, despite their recent futility. Why go soft on Duke? To hell with them too.
March 20th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
I was in Cameron the day that K beat Smith for the first time. (As he did many times thereafter. I don’t think Deano ever got over not being the only big dog in Carolina anymore.)
I was three rows back from the court directly across from the UNC bench. As the game reached its conclusion, Smith turned on his heel (so to speak) and stomped off the court without the customary handshake to the winner. What a crybaby I thought.
I was not the only one to notice - he was asked about it in the press conference after. His reply was “Mike was jumping around so much over there that I couldn’t get close to him”. Horse apples. He was too intent on pouting to even try.
That being said, Williams is hella better.
I’m wondering why Obama thinks there should be winners and losers anyway. Just because one team has better players or a better coach, there’s no reason to give them more points. The “wealth” should be spread around.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
“Just because one team has better players or a better coach, there’s no reason to give them more points. The “wealth” should be spread around. ”
LB,
Funny you mention that. Seems “Pete’s (Rozelle’s) Parity” (i.e. salary cap, difficulty of schedule based on previous year’s record) and the draft (team with worst record gets the top pick) is a similar spread-the-wealth type plan. Works pretty well for the NFL.
But it also seems the kind of do-gooder socialistic meddling that curdles the blood of every social Darwinist.
Too bad real life ain’t as simple as sports.
March 20th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
MLB is a regulated monopoly.
March 23rd, 2009 at 10:16 am
UNC-CH: The home of poor losers and worse winners.