Most of us, being adult and jaded and uncomfortably aware of the random cruelty of fate, have long forgotten what it was like to be on the cusp of college and excited at the career possibilities before you. “Should I be a surgeon? An engineer? A best-selling, critically acclaimed writer? Oooh! How ’bout a top gun fighter pilot? Yeah, that’s it.”

We were so cute. So earnest. So totally deluded as to believe it was as easy as selecting a major, and then stepping into that fantasy job a few years later.

That’s why it’s so entertaining to read this piece from The Princeton Review, headlined “Top 10 Majors for 2009.” It’s a list of the most popular majors, along with suggestions as to which kind of jobs you might expect. For unintentional hilarity, for example, it’s hard to beat this pair of career options for a psychology major: “criminologist … or advertising executive.”

Don’t ask me how the job of understanding the criminal mind and the creation of an advertising campaign require the same skill set — but it somehow makes sense.

But here’s the one I zeroed in on. As the father of an English major who became a tax collector, and as someone with first-hand knowledge of such, uh, “springboard” degrees (I was a film major), this passage had me rolling on the floor:

7. English language and literature
With an English degree, you can certainly become a starving author. Or you can become an affluent one. Just ask Stephen King.

There’s one Stephen King and at least 10 million starving, wannabe writers. Kids, take a math class if you need help computing these odds.

You can also become a legendary football coach like Joe Paterno or a governor like Mario Cuomo. These and many other people used a degree in English as a springboard to a successful career.

If you’re an English major, any other career is considered “successful.”

English programs are about communication, which is important in any career.

Then again, all those skilled communicators in the newspaper business are unemployed.

Studying English also gives you the unique opportunity to engage with different societies, eras and experiences of others through literature so that you may communicate your own experiences and successes and inspire others.

Maybe you can inspire them to consider other majors.

Classes you’ll probably take: creative writing, literary criticism and early American literature.

That creative writing will come in handy when you prepare your resume, as you seek ways to disguise the fact that you’ve got nothing but an English degree in hand.

Career options: editor, lawyer or writer.

Here are a few more: Starbucks barista, waitress, grocery store check-out clerk, paint mixer at Home Depot, telemarketer, seasonal tax-preparation consultant, online penny-stock tout or veterinarian’s kennel attendant.

Good luck, and let me know how it works out.