Career advice from the clueless
Most of us, being adult and jaded and uncomfortably aware of the random cruelty of fate, have long forgotten what it was like to be on the cusp of college and excited at the career possibilities before you. “Should I be a surgeon? An engineer? A best-selling, critically acclaimed writer? Oooh! How ’bout a top gun fighter pilot? Yeah, that’s it.”
We were so cute. So earnest. So totally deluded as to believe it was as easy as selecting a major, and then stepping into that fantasy job a few years later.
That’s why it’s so entertaining to read this piece from The Princeton Review, headlined “Top 10 Majors for 2009.” It’s a list of the most popular majors, along with suggestions as to which kind of jobs you might expect. For unintentional hilarity, for example, it’s hard to beat this pair of career options for a psychology major: “criminologist … or advertising executive.”
Don’t ask me how the job of understanding the criminal mind and the creation of an advertising campaign require the same skill set — but it somehow makes sense.
But here’s the one I zeroed in on. As the father of an English major who became a tax collector, and as someone with first-hand knowledge of such, uh, “springboard” degrees (I was a film major), this passage had me rolling on the floor:
7. English language and literature
With an English degree, you can certainly become a starving author. Or you can become an affluent one. Just ask Stephen King.
There’s one Stephen King and at least 10 million starving, wannabe writers. Kids, take a math class if you need help computing these odds.
You can also become a legendary football coach like Joe Paterno or a governor like Mario Cuomo. These and many other people used a degree in English as a springboard to a successful career.
If you’re an English major, any other career is considered “successful.”
English programs are about communication, which is important in any career.
Then again, all those skilled communicators in the newspaper business are unemployed.
Studying English also gives you the unique opportunity to engage with different societies, eras and experiences of others through literature so that you may communicate your own experiences and successes and inspire others.
Maybe you can inspire them to consider other majors.
Classes you’ll probably take: creative writing, literary criticism and early American literature.
That creative writing will come in handy when you prepare your resume, as you seek ways to disguise the fact that you’ve got nothing but an English degree in hand.
Career options: editor, lawyer or writer.
Here are a few more: Starbucks barista, waitress, grocery store check-out clerk, paint mixer at Home Depot, telemarketer, seasonal tax-preparation consultant, online penny-stock tout or veterinarian’s kennel attendant.
Good luck, and let me know how it works out.
February 25th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Yeah, that list of jobs? You left out middle school English teacher.
February 25th, 2009 at 9:43 am
English degree, for me, = a tax collector, waitress, assistant buyer for a fashion company, and a project coordinator. I think I owe it all to my 20th Century English Lit class…
February 25th, 2009 at 10:23 am
For me, journalism degree = editor of a small-town weekly newspaper (8 months, I left), copy editor for a Web site that went down, down, down (6 months, I was laid off), marketing writer and editor (8 years + current). I also do a little freelance writing and editing. I’m happy with where I am now.
For my husband, journalism degree = copy editor for a large daily newspaper in central New York (4 months, he left to move away), copy editor for a Web site that went down, down, down (different than the site I worked for, he lasted 9 months then was laid off), designer of sports magazines (8 years + current). He’s happy with his job, and he gets his writing fix through a blog and a sports site (freelance).
We both feel really lucky.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:55 am
For me, Journalism degree = part time liquor store clerk (3 months), investment property builder (3 years part time), 33 years with Big Tobacco. Your post reminded me of a great Bill Murray line in “Groundhog Day” when the object of his affection revealed that her college Major was 16th Century French Poetry to which he replied; “What a complete waste of time.”
February 25th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Well, as long as we’re playing: For me, film degree = discount department store clerk (2 months), credit investigator (5 days), magazine advertising salesman (one and a half years), heavy equipment operator (5 months), and newspaper geek (30 years). Notice that the word “film” doesn’t appear in any of those job descriptions.
February 25th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Sister…English & History degrees = telemarketer, customer service phone rep (numerous firms, one for 2 years but most a matter of months)
Me…1 year community college diploma = 26 years working in my field, and still loving it!
Am I a little bitter about having my lack of higher education thrown in my face? Not anymore.
February 25th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
English as an academic major doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It encompasses aspects of history, philosophy, logic, argumentation, political theory and many other disciplines.
These areas of study may not add up to a paycheck. But they do offer valuable perspective. And the ability to write a coherent professional e-mail or memo is a highly underrated skill that, frankly, not many non-English majors do well.
I think an English degree is more valuable today than a journalism degree, and I have one of each.
February 25th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Let’s see… Middle East History/Arabic (grad school even) = librarian. I know, I know, but the government wasn’t interested in that skill set in the 80s. Go figure.
All the history did was make me an eternal pessamist and a grumpy old man, although my family says I’ve been that since I was a kid.
February 25th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
This called to mind one of my favorite cartoons, from about 30 years ago.
It shows a janitor leaning on a broom talking to a new graduate in cap and gown. The caption is something like: “So, you’re a philosophy major too.”