Sarah Palin may have been right about that “real America” thing (details below), but she got the location wrong: Apparently, real America stretches from the Carolinas to Maine, and includes the twin base camps of the liberal/political establishment so notoriously loathed by the erstwhile veep wannabe — Washington, D.C. and New York.

That swatch of land, according to a Russian professor who advises his country’s Foreign Ministry, will be the only part of our nation to remain intact, more or less, when the United States collapses in 2010. It will be known as Atlantic America, and may end up joining the European Union. It will encompass New England and the mid-Atlantic states, with Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia thrown in for good measure.

The rest of the country will be absorbed into, or fall under the influence of, other countries: the West Coast to China, the Southwest and Southeast to Mexico, the Midwest to Canada, and Alaska to the country Palin can see from her bathroom window (or whatever claim she made), Russia. Only we easterners would remain autonomous. We’ll be the real, only America.

As the Wall Street Journal explained last week, the professor expects it’ll happen this way:

[M]ass immigration, economic decline, and moral degradation will trigger a civil war next fall and the collapse of the dollar. Around the end of June 2010, or early July, he says, the U.S. will break into six pieces. ….

[E]conomic, financial and demographic trends will provoke a political and social crisis in the U.S. When the going gets tough, he says, wealthier states will withhold funds from the federal government and effectively secede from the union. Social unrest up to and including a civil war will follow. The U.S. will then split along ethnic lines, and foreign powers will move in.

That gives us 18 months to figure out the Euro exchange rate and brush up on our German and the Romance languages. My pals in Georgia, where I grew up, will need to work on their Spanish. And Palin can start wrapping her tongue around this traditional Russian toast: Давайте всегда наслаждаться жизнью, как этим бокалом вина! (Translation: I wonder what they’re doing in real America right now?)

I might have made that up. Palin’s got a year and a half to figure it out.

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