I’m lost! Are you suggesting I read, volunteer at a food bank, talk to my wife and kids? Strike up a relationship with my next door neighbor? Rake my yard, clean my gutters, contemplate my navel?

Are you aware that the reality series A SHOT OF LOVE III, THE IKKI TWINS is currently in progress on VH1? Bisexual, identical twins Rikki and Vikki Ikki are lookin’ for love. They have an eager pool of dudes and dudettes to choose from. It’s quite compelling. Each week, the twins force their ardent suitors through a gauntlet of contrived trials and tribulations. Those who fail are scorned by the Ikkis. Those who succeed? To the victor go the spoils - usually in the hottub.

You expect me to miss that to avoid a bout of the holiday blues?

How limited is one’s world that one would think it takes courage to say that for some people, the holidays are kind of depressing? Are we not inundated with news items, essays and articles in virtually every available forum that acknowledge this obvious and entirely natural reaction to the “season to be jolly?”

COURAGE?

The blessing is that Dan is gifted enough in his expression that he doesn’t come across like the average whiner — whether affected by the lack of light or the unrelenting pressure of the jingle bell cheerleading section or the ghastly commercial crush that accompany this winter solstice/mithra’s sacrifice/Jesus’ birth/Santa’s sackful etc WTF you wanna call it season. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a danged gloomy gus this time of year. It isn’t COURAGEOUS to note the obvious.

What takes COURAGE is fighting down the demons that make this season so miserable. THAT takes some danged fortitude.

Out of seasonal kindness, I will share what I consider one of my most important strategic counters to this season’s ever-so-potent slings and arrows: Keep the television off for the second half of October through the first half of January.

Just sayin’.

Happy New Year.

In all seriousness Gearino, the holidays can be emotionally taxing for us all. We’ve all got our reasons. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I didn’t intend to get mushy with this, but it’s Christmas morning (OK afternoon) and Silent Night by The Temptations is playin’ in the background.

You also have a great group of regular posters (please come back Debrah) and Brunette (who I think writes porn on the side) who may have developed an affection for you too. That was presumptuous - the affection part - not Brunette writing porn. She does - well, she should, I’ll say that.

I’ll leave you with the words of a great man, one W.C. Fields. “Don’t be a fuddy-duddy. Don’t be a moon-calf. Don’t be a jabbernow. You’re not those things are you?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” you might ask. Beats hell outta me.

I love you Gearino, in a wholesome and manly kind of way. Can I borrow five thousand bucks?