Should we schedule the sacking?
For me, the countdown to collapse of Western civilization started yesterday at about 8:30 a.m., when I read about a cat in Raleigh named Santos which recently was named Best In Show at a cat beauty contest in Atlanta. Here’s the passage that did it for me:
Santos sleeps in his own room on handmade navy-blue silk pillows (so his hair is not pulled out). Twice a day, he dines on Blue Ridge meat, made especially for cats. His owners feed him by hand. …
Santos takes four baths a week in his own tub, and his coat is washed with a mix of Joico and Aveda shampoos that costs $60 a bottle.
Born in Italy, Santos spent last summer in his native Venice with his breeder so his coat would grow thick in the cool air. His owners say they might let him attend a show in Germany in January. He’s already been to Belgium, Kiev and the Netherlands. (When he travels, of course, he gets his own seat on the plane.)
Santos’ hobbies include playing with his teaser toys and listening to “Bob and the Showgram” on G-105 …
It would be easy to list all the many ways in which the pampered existence of Santos the cat is an affront to the benighted peoples of the world, who can only dream of such a life. But I’m neither enough of a squishy liberal to make much of that, nor the possessor of the high moral ground in this matter (considering that I have dropped serious coin on similarly frivolous pastimes). Instead, I’ll offer this simple assertion:
When any society finds itself comfortable with the notion that a pet can have not only a hobby, but a favorite morning radio show, Vandals and Huns cannot be far behind.
November 26th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Thoroughbred horses in Kentucky live in climate controlled stables, wear coats when they go outside in the winter, are pampered and bred (someone will run with that one) by adoring attendants and their health care is second to no human. Their lifestyle is far better than many of their human counterparts in the Commonwealth. Worth it? You bet! The real champion studs yield over $100,000 a pop to their owners when they are bred. During the season, they are bred 4 & 5 times a day. How much does this prissy feline get for downloading a kitten? Maybe the lifestyle is justified. One thing is for sure, the folks that run in these circles do not experience economic recessions.
November 26th, 2008 at 9:25 am
They had me until I got to the radio show part… Anybody (or cat) who enjoys the finer things in life would never, and I mean EVER, listen to Bob and the Showgram.
November 26th, 2008 at 9:33 am
I don’t think we should be judged. Mom says I’m the best cat in the world, but I’ve heard other moms say that about their cats too.
Cats are not for judging. We’re for loving.
November 26th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Oh well, I must confess.
The last three cats in my life were similarly pampered; however, not to that extent.
Petey, a black Persian—although not a full breed, but much more beautiful than Santos—adopted me and taught me how to take care of kitties. I had not really been a cat person until Petey.
(By the way, I’ve heard from vets that full breeds have more health problems.)
Petey was a beautiful man who was very independent; however, Dmitri, who came later was the real beneficiary of cat pampering.
Dmitri was also a black Persian mix who had his own room. LOL!!!
He slept in a child’s furry sleeping bag with a bear’s head which was placed on a regular bed.
He also had a snoozing basket by the window with a mobile of black Persian cats hanging from the ceiling.
His favorite food that he had to have every day was shrimp. During that time, the ritual was boiling it and de-veining it, and making sure he had a supply in the refrigerator at all times.
Then came Kitty Diva, the most precious and the most grateful. She had been neglected and was already 9 years old when she came. She inherited all of Dmitri’s toys and his multi-leveled jungle gym.
She is literally the only animal I’ve witnessed who actually talked. She responded as if having a human conversation…..complete with appropriate nuance.
Every day I made sure to make up for the neglect she suffered earlier, and she was soon a new personality and secure from all the love and attention.
Kitty Diva’s only obsession was the “water or juice” from canned tuna. Much easier to handle than Dmitri’s obsession.
Kitty Diva loved to snooze her days away on her chaise lounge…..covered with soft paw print designs.
She lived another 9 happy years to the ripe age of 18.
In May of this year, she went to “Rainbow Bridge” to be with Petey and Dmitri.
Kitty Diva, a by-then geriatric kitty began to have bad days and the daily medicine would not stabilize her condition.
Her last years were indeed golden and I feel an enormous sense of happiness because I know that my rescuing her at the age of 9 and the good medical care she received in her later years extended her life and she knew she was loved.
Both Dmitri and Kitty Diva were beautiful; however, my beautiful man, Petey, put this Santos to shame.
Obviously, I have nothing against pampering pets, but you have to temper that with a more natural existence.
Santos lives a life far too artificial and isolated. He needs some good rabble-rousing in the forest so that he actually gets dirty for once in his life!
November 26th, 2008 at 9:51 am
So true. GOL!!!
“Anybody (or cat) who enjoys the finer things in life would never, and I mean EVER, listen to Bob and the Showgram.”
November 26th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Cats are a waste of good fur.
November 26th, 2008 at 10:36 am
I suppose there’s nothing the Humane Society can do about pets being forced to listen to the Showgram, but this is the kind of treatment that just screams out for an underground animal rights squad to plan a rescue operation.
November 26th, 2008 at 10:51 am
I don’t listen to radio of any kind very much unless I’m in the car and a tune I like surfaces.
That Bob person is really kind of gross. I don’t think he even has a good voice for the air waves.
To each his own.
In previous years there was a woman named Madison who co-hosted the show with him.
She was just as silly and common.
An acquaintance had a neighbor who was in a slight auto accident involving this Madison person. It was alleged that she lied her butt off in court and got off scot-free.
The man she hit was an older white guy and you can imagine what he felt about the judges decision.
November 26th, 2008 at 11:34 am
My cat enjoys torturing small animals in the backyard, eating grass and puking it up in the living room, tending to his scabby ears from a meeting with a raccoon, and dodging lunges at his tail from his big brother, the dog. Think I could enter him in that beautiful cat contest?
November 26th, 2008 at 11:37 am
I like cats. they taste like chicken. I bet santos would be extra tender.
November 26th, 2008 at 11:42 am
“I like cats. They taste like chicken. I bet Santos would be extra tender.”
Eeeeeeew!!!
You sound like a creepy guy who used to hang out in the deli section of Whole Foods.
He told everyone he knew who were cat people that “cat soup” was delicious.
Really strange humor.
November 26th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I LOVE the old movie “Cat People” with Natassia Kinski.
David Bowie’s theme song is stupendous!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jJBbsk0xdQ&feature=PlayList&p=46E0C1C6BB41064E&playnext=1&index=82
November 26th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
“I LOVE the old movie “Cat People” with Natassia Kinski.”
Even the part where she chases down the bunny and eats it live?
November 26th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
TO Jim–
No, but we can’t change nature.
That’s why I rarely watch the cable channel—what is it?—where they film animals in the wild doing what they do.
Going after prey or succumbing to being another’s prey.
We humans don’t have to live that way and we assault nature when we abuse animals and when we kill and mutilate animals for sport.
That Kinski “bunny scene” was necessary to show her true transformation into a cat in the wild.
Very effective; however, no bunny was really killed in that scene.
That was a great film at the time. I was mesmerized by it.
Although, being a mere babe in the woods then, I was easily mesmerized.
LOL!
November 26th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
HAPPY THANKSGIVING all you pussy cats!
November 26th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
“HAPPY THANKSGIVING all you pussy cats!”
Oh, Mikey. Thanks.
You’re so above average!
ROTFLM-T’s-O !!!
November 26th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Thanks Debrah… That’s what we call a left handed compliment down South. I’d be even more above average if I knew where to find an “IM” dictionary so I could understand your “ROTFLM-T’s-O” & such. I suppose I could ask my grown children tomorrow at the big feast.
November 26th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
OK, Mikey.
A personal Diva holiday gift for you.
You already know what the proverbial “LOL!” means, so here’s the rest added just for variation:
LIS!=laughing inside
GOL!=giggling out loud
GIS!=giggling inside
ROTFLMAO!=rolling on the floor laughing my (posterior) off
ROTFLM-T’s-O !!!=rolling on the floor laughing my (the pair only women possess) off
November 26th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
ROTFLM-B’s-O!!
By George I think I’ve got it!
November 26th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Very good Mikey!
You’ve adapted it to your set.
November 27th, 2008 at 11:01 am
My cat Mitz like the shows on Animal Planet and billiard tournaments on ESPN. She’s particularly fond of the shots from an above-the-table perspective. She paws at the balls as they ricochet around the screen. It’s damned cute is what.
Lonely folks who dote on cats are not the sign of our decline as a society. And maybe if we called our nanas more, they wouldn’t have to resort to feline companionship.
Here’s some stuff that does have me worried about our collective well-being:
* Personal Seat Licences - let me get this straight, if I shell out big bucks for a PSL, I’ve purchased only the right to part with even more of my money to buy the season tickets. What’s wrong with that picture?
* Gacy:The Musical - the songs suck. And the chubby, spooky looking bald guy who plays the lead has no stage presence whatsoever - he does bear a remarkable resemblance to J.W. Gacy however
* Poker on TV - zzzzzzzzzzzz. STRIP poker with Shannon Elizabeth maybe, but this is Texas Hold ‘em and draw played by a bunch of out-of-shape, chain-smoking dudes who haven’t seen the light of day in about a decade.
* NASCAR - are white guys so hard-up for a sport they can dominate that a hillbilly car chase gets elevated to national spectacle?
* Customized ring tones for cell phones - whatta a public nuisance those have become. There’s quite a selection available, I’ll say that. The other day standing in line at the DMV, I heard BOOTYLISCIOUS, some Beethoven and the theme song from SHAFT. Y’know, that Shaft is still a baaad mother - shut my mouth. I’m just talkin’ about Shaft.