You need your posterior kicked, right out-of-the-gate, for buying a Buick!

Too retro, man.

Get rid of it and get with the program!

Mine won’t start. The dealership claims it’s got something to do with this tee-niney sensor bean embedded in the ignition key. Supposedly, it’s an anti-theft mechanism.

Screw that, it’s a crap-shoot every morning whether or not Mr. Sensor Bean perceives me as owner or thief - sometimes he ignites, sometimes he don’t. I’ve found that patience (on my part of course) and a soothing verse of Brahms’ Lullaby usually does the trick.

Shoot, I’d be happy if somebody would steal the damned car. If anybody’s interested, it’s parked in front of my house, unlocked, keys in the ignition. Mr Sensor Bean eagerly awaits making your acquaintence.

And I agree with your Terrell. Georgia got spanked but good.

Has anybody else experienced problems with the ignitions of their Buick Century, model years 1998 through 2004?

Take a little Carl Bernstien, Micky Spillane, Joe “GIRLS GONE WILD” Francis, Warren Beatty, Julia Child and Hans Conreid. Add a smidge of gun powder, two fingers of salt peter and an unquenchable desire to simplify complex financial information for his readers (you can substitute a pinch of oregano here if you don’t have any of this).

Toss it all in a Cuisinart with 1/2 cup of Dewars and run it on puree for two minutes.

That’s freaking Gearino.

Ouch!

He was drop dead gorgeous. If he didn’t make your knees weak, you had no knees.

Paul Newman was so beautiful that it made a person feel elevated just to gaze at him.

JFK, Jr. was also unreasonably handsome, but I’d have to say that between the two — and this has NOTHING to do with any other aspect of their lives — Paul was still the more beautiful.

And he KEPT being beautiful even as he got old and craggy.

He could have slapped his picture on a can of spam and I’d have bought it. I don’t eat spam, or meat, for that matter, but if it were a decent photo likeness I woulda licked the label. Sorry, I realize I’m going too far now . . .

He might be the best argument that there is a God, except that I think that God would have wanted us all to have him, instead of his being kept for Joanne’s exclusive use. So I’m back to not believing in God.

And I don’t believe we’re going to ever see his like again.